New here advice appreciated



  • @claudia.grace Well done!!! So inspirational to hear!! Keep going, you're making everyone proud <3

  • Hey everyone. I just read all the messages on this post and they're so motivating. I am so proud of how far you've come. <3 Keep going. @yurisen
    I've been struggling with controlling my urges to pull and its been a really long time since I came to this forum. I stopped keeping a count of my pull free days and I seem to have ditched all of my earlier practices to avoid pulling and I've just given in. This whole chat is such a motivation to start over and fight this.
    I'm gonna start counting my pull free days again and I've put notes in a few places to stop pulling. I really want to keep this up and if I do slip, I'm going to start again but this isn't going to get the best of me.

    DAY 1 pull free.

    Lots of love and power to all of you

  • Day 2 pull free.
    Today wasn't so hard. I had so much work to do and I also went for a refreshing run. Hopefully this continues.

    How's everyone doing?

  • You're an inspiration for us all that you got your motivation going again, it's always difficult to start again. We're cheering you on! Great job on starting to count pull free days again! You can do this!
    I'm doing well - this past Wednesday was 2 months for me, don't know how I did it :)
  • edited May 2021

    Hey R2021,
    Thank you so much for the kind words :)
    Wow 2 months. That's amazing. You're incredibly strong for being able to get this far. Keep going.
    Day 3 pull free

  • edited May 2021
    one week until 100 days 🀠. if anyone needs support im here. also i think i said this before or similar but when you feel an urge to pull do something to occupy yourself that you literally wont be able to pull. particularly with water like washing up, having a shower or bath is probably the best and also like anything that you wont have any hands free bcs i find stuff like colouring i still have a hand free to touch my hair most of the time. you can always wear a hat but that doesnt always work and gets more annoying now the weather is getting warmer. if you enjoy stuff like gardening or cooking/baking. badically stuff where you dont have hands free and wouldnt want to touch ur hair if your hands are dirty or if you are handling food. that can help a lot and let people around you know about it so if they catch you touching your hair they can tell you to stop because it's not always a concious thing but other people can notice and let you know. i hope this helps someone!!
  • You. Are. Amazing. @claudia.grace !! One hundred days?!?! Are u kidding me!? You should be soooo proud of yourself! You seem to be in a good place right now so keep it going!!

    I've not been doing so good myself. Just blew a 3 day pull-free streak, but I think I'm finding out a lot of new things about myself and my addiction. Long story short I was doing really well and actually trying to determine what it was that was giving me such a good attitude recently. Was it because I was being very religious about taking my vitamins, supplements and meds lately? Was I getting more or less sleep than usual?? Maybe because I was eating better πŸ€” Not sure what the positives were, but I sure found out what a trigger was real quick like! Got into a crazy argument with my family, something stupid and insignificant like it always is and BOOM, there it was, 3 day streak down the drain! Argument was over, everyone made up and went to bed. I stayed up later than everyone else and I proceeded to have a Pulling Recovery session for myself. It's been a couple days now since and I think I realized that my pulling was how I calmed myself down after the argument. I 'soothed' myself with my pulling until all the bad feelings were gone. It's so interesting to me how after a lot of my pull sessions I don't feel guilty or bad in any way. I seem to feel better for some reason.... relieved in a way, like some weight (or naughty hairs) have now been removed and I can move on. Weird, I know, but that's my latest realization about myself 🀷

    But the good news is I'm starting over (again) and using your successes and everyone else's as my inspiration! Keep pushing on and keeping posting! You are helping more people than you realize!!

    Take care & stay strong.,

    SleepySloth β™₯️
  • Hey Claudia.
    100 days is a huge milestone. Celebrate your willpower and success thus far. Its so nice to hear of such stories and its very reassuring that I can do it too. You should be very proud of how far you've come. Lots of love to you.
    @Sleepysloth, I completely understand what you're saying. I too pull while I'm trying to recover from a bad argument or a fight. It really does calm but its not okay. I have started to reduce that habit by doing other things like writing in a journal or painting. It does help sometimes.
    I'm getting better at controlling my urges and through the stories I'm hearing over here and seeing all of you do so well, give me a lot of hope.

    Day 6 pull free.

    Lots of love to all of you.

  • Hey everyone,
    I was on a streak of 9 days pull free and I just unconsciously started pulling yesterday while doing work and now I'm back to Day 1.
    I am motivated to get through this because I immediately stopped pulling once I realized what was happening.
    Day 1 pull free. <3

  • I'm starting over too @kitty142 ! Twenty two hours now and counting...

    Last night I reached for my hair, was able to stop myself TWICE by grabbing a fidget toy. But then as the evening went on, my willpower and self awareness waned and I was back to my old bad habits.

    Now today I started over and am doing better tonight. When I sat down in the "Pull Zone" (in my favorite chair in front of the TV) I immediately put bandaids on two of my fingers on my left (pulling) hand. It is really difficult to find individual hairs that I like with these things on, so it seems to be working (for now).

    I did quite a bit of noticeable damage last night, so I'm really motivated to STOP. I need to give my head (and hands) a break. My left hand & fingers ache so bad from my pull session last night, I think I gave myself arthritis πŸ™„

    Hope all here are doing well and staying strong on their journeys.

    Take care & talk soon,

    SleepySloth β™₯️
  • Hello Trich Family!

    It's been a while since I was able to post when I'm in a GOOD place for a change! 5 days and 22 hours, so almost 6 days! Kinda worries me though 😬 When is the next 'shoe' gonna drop? When am I gonna fall off my wagon?? How can I make this time different than all the other times???

    Not sure of the answer but I wanted to post before I had to write about yet another failure. My hair has somewhat recovered and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't FEEL very fragile right now (not sure why). I'm feeling very strong and not even interested in touching my hair.

    What's going to be my trigger this time around? A fight with my husband?? An all day movie binge on the couch?? A long drive in the car??? I almost don't want the weekend to come. I'm dreading my inevitable relapse and just want time to stop right NOW. I want to freeze this moment in time and feel like I do now, forever..... in control and not saddled with a crazy addiction that I am unable to predict or prepare for.

    Wish me luck this weekend and keep me in your thoughts 🀞

    Take care and talk soon,

    SleepySloth β™₯️
  • Almost 6 days is fantastic! So happy to hear that! I do relate to your feelings of uncertainty of the future and when the other shoe is gonna drop. Such a good feeling it must be to tap into that energy of feeling somewhat in control of your trich, with not even being interested in touching your hair. I hope your weekend is continuing with being pull free πŸ’•πŸ’—
    Sending hugs to you
  • Have you got rewards line up @SleepySloth? I find they really help to keep me on track! <3

  • Ahh hey guys!! I'm so happy that people are using my post and updating here even when I'm not <3
    I have been avoiding coming into here because of how many times I kept failing, I actually came to a point this year where I was just like: I don't care anymore I need this feeling of pulling and I'll fix myself up after my end of year exams :/, which is a very toxic mindset I know. Well my exams are this week and I'm getting through them with 1 layer of hair on my scalp, I've actually made way too many gaps that I hardly have enough hair to cover them up to just get through this last week of school. They say in order to deal with your bad habits you need to form healthy habits first which is what I have been failing to do, I stop pulling but then when I get stressed out again I don't have healthy habits to fall back on and pulling is always the answer, other than that I also always put myself in those stressful situations ( not studying until a few weeks before the exams ).

    Starting this weekend I'm going to be focusing ALOT on myself, journaling, using self CBT prompts, learning how to make teas to help me become calmer in exam periods/ stressful situations, prioritizing me, creating scheduales for studying/catching up with work so that I'm not placed in the stressful situations etc.

    I've read posts on here about how some of you guys are starting again from square 1 and I guess you can count me in :)) 2021 has really been the worst year for my trich and I hope that I don't reach this low point in my life again... Good luck guysss @sleepysloth @kitty142 and well done @claudia.grace
  • Hi @yurisen Good to see you back on here. Well i made it 8 days before I gave in. So now I'm back to 1 day, 20 hours and counting, and not giving up πŸ’ͺ
    My latest relapse didn't feel as traumatic and disappointing as it usually does. I don't know if it was because it was more of a conscious choice to pull, rather than an uncontrolled urge. I had my hands in my hair, felt the long strand that didn't belong and waited for a second before pulling it out. I know I could've gotten up from the couch right then and stopped myself, but I was oddly curious how pulling that one hair would trigger me? Would it be a flood of relief, and lead to hours of aimless pulling? Or would it be a controlled experiment on my part, knowing I was about to pull, choosing to pull and then choosing to stop? And that's what I did. I pulled about 5 hairs and it wasn't as satisfying as it usually is. So I just stopped 🀷 So weird. Not very often that I quit pulling by choice rather than quitting due to pure exhaustion or sheer guilt. It was almost like giving up my beloved soda for a long time and then finally having a can and it doesn't taste as good as I remembered.
    Not sure what's giving me the positive vibes lately, but I'm just gonna keep riding this awesome wave till I fall off my 'surfboard' πŸ„πŸ˜‰
    Thank you everyone for the continued support @kitty142 and @R2021 And no, I haven't picked out a reward yet @Michelle Harper But I am starting to think about it more and more. πŸ€” I'm starting to think about what's in my future, rather than just what's going on today.
    I'm seriously considering setting a major pull-free goal for myself for this summer but I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it. My family will be leaving in early June for a work trip and not coming home for 6 weeks. Wouldn't it be awesome if I could go the whole time pull-free and be able to wear my hair down when they return?! If every day felt like today, I know I could do it. But I just don't know what the future holds for me or how my emotions could change on a dime. I'd hate to set an unattainable goal, just to see myself fail. But maybe if my goal was "improvement" rather than "perfection", I could still end up with a positive result? Maybe if I started a new discussion thread for myself just for accountability, like @Gir does? Even if my pull counts were not zero every day, but kept to a really low number?? So many ideas running through my head right now πŸ₯΄

    What I do know for certain is that ever since joining this forum, I do FEEL better. Just having the ear of like minded people and being able to read their stories and not feel alone. Thank you to everyone who posts their stories and thank you to everyone who reads our stories! You make us feel heard and understood, and that is a success in itself!

    I managed another few hours of being pull-free again tonight, so thank you everyone for that too!

    Take care & talk soon,

    SleepySloth β™₯️
  • Well guys here's my latest update....

    It's been a rollercoaster as usual. Had some solid pull-free streaks (6, 6, 4.5, 3 and 1.5 days). Got my hair cut (or rather, just evened out) Have a hair stylist that I've trusted for years. She always makes me feel beautiful and is magic when it comes to covering up my bald spots. The only time I ever wear my hair down is when I leave her beauty shop. But then I had my usual post-haircut pull session. The hairs are so spiky and short and just ASKING to be pulled πŸ™„
    That episode was short-lived and I did regain control. But I was concentrating so much on not touching my hair, I slipped up and went to town on my right eye!!!

    Ugh, now I have half an eyebrow and no lashes on that eye πŸ˜” How can I maintain such control and awareness with my headhair, and then completely forget everything I've learned and go to town on my eyes?!? So disgusted with myself. My lashes were looking beautiful too. Why they felt so crispy and out if place yesterday I'll never know 🀷 And it doesn't take very long to do damage either. You can't have a pull session on your eyeballs and come out with just minimal damage.

    So back to Square One I go.... 23 hours and counting. Wishing everyone good days ahead and lots of pull free vibes!!

    Take care and stay strong!

    SleepySloth β™₯️
  • Well done for not pulling your head hair though! Takes a lot not to pull! I’ve found this amazing new find for covering head bald patches it’s called toppik they do a wide variety for people with hair loss and I got this hair spray from there it’s amazing and has colour in it as well as thickens and grows the hair it’s a amazing find for under 20 pounds. Literally been a life saver with my bald patch on my head. They do like powders too which range from Β£7 ish pound. Hope this helps anyone xxxx
  • How are you doing now @SleepySloth?

  • Thanks for checking on me @Michelle Harper Unfortunately I've really been struggling lately. πŸ˜” For the last 10 days or so, I've been finding it hard to get in a straight 24 hours of not pulling. I've been pulling a lot at work too, which is unusual for me. I don't feel particularly stressed, but it's been difficult to concentrate as of late. When I've been pulling at work, it's hard to make myself stop and find a new activity to do. I just want to "finish" my pull session and get annoyed when I'm interrupted.
    Not exactly sure how I'm gonna get back to the mindset I was before, but I am going to keep trying! It all cycles around eventually and right now I'm just in a low spot.
    Hope everyone is having a better time of it than me..... 2 hrs and 33 minutes pull free!!!

    Take care & stay strong,

    SleepySloth β™₯️
  • Hey @SleepySloth. Is it possible that you are stressed, anxious or low, but not aware of it? I ask because sometimes it's obvious that I'm stressed out, and other times it takes me a couple of weeks to figure it out! The signs aren't always the obvious ones and can slip under my radar.

    Are you making time for yourself and taking care of yourself? I'm wondering if some self-care could help <3

  • Well @Michelle Harper it's been about 10 days since my last post and I think I'm feeling 'better' but still not where I want to be. I'm coming off a pretty intense pull session from yesterday, but I do feel as though I'm coming out of my slump now.
    I really thought when my house cleared out and my family left for a month long work trip, that I would be thrilled and so relaxed. But it really seems to have had the opposite effect on me. You would think I would relish in my lazy days of less laundry & dishes, and absolutely no cooking! But apparently missing one's family must trigger stress. Who knew 🀷

    I have been learning more about myself lately though. I realize that not only do I use "pulling" as a coping mechanism, but I also rely heavily on sleeping & eating!! Can you imagine how much pulling I can avoid if I just continue to sleep 16 hrs a day?!? I see now that not getting out of bed really does make things much worse and facilities depression. And I don't even want to address my uncontrolled eating habits! So many vices, so little time to overcome them πŸ₯΄

    Going to try for another long pull-free stretch again. Currently 22hrs and 30min & counting! Hope all is well with everyone else πŸ™

    Stay strong & talk soon,

    SleepySloth β™₯️
  • I know exactly what you mean! I find I binge eat in the evenings. If I go for a long walk around that time, I can skip the eating... Keep learning and paying attention to what your body is telling you. It sounds like you're making great progress with understanding yourself and that's vital <3

  • hi i dont know if anyone is still active on here but i am over 8 months pull free but i still keep cutting bits off my hair idk why but anyways my hair is growing back but so slowly. i have no bald patches anymore and my hair just looks like i had it cut like this now instead of looking like all different lengths and bald patches so im glad about that. i hope you are all doing well and i am proud of you no matter what!! <3
  • Hi Claudia. It does seem a bit quiet but I've recently come back and try and check in daily as recently started a PF thread after ages of pulling episodes. Glad yo hear you're doing sooooooo well and still going strong. It is amazing how you suddenly start feeling like a normal person when you reach that stage. It does take ages for hair to grow back but eventually it does get there. Keep checking in and let us know how you're doing.
  • Hi @claudia.grace and @Ama, it has quietened down here, hasn't it. It's a shame but hopefully it will pick up again soon. Claudia you're doing so, so well. 8 months is incredible! Can you apply the same tactics you used to stop pulling, to stop cutting?

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