I am terrible at journaling. Every year I start a diary with positive intentions and I’ve always stopped after a few weeks. I know that writing my thoughts and feelings down helps me but it’s also so hard sometimes. I suppose it’s because when you write you make it real, you take the thought out of your head and there it is in front of you in the real world, and I guess this scares me.
Despite this yearly failure and potent fear of confronting myself, here I am yet again trying to start a journal. I want to stop pulling my leg hair out as it’s giving me scabs and scars and enabling me to hide from my anxieties rather than acknowledging them. So, I will try to post here each day as my pulling has become daily and is creeping in to multiple times a day and I know if I catch it now I may just be able to actually help, care and look after myself.
Lordy our brains and bodies are a f***ing complicated mess aren’t they?! Jesus Christ what is my life!!
Okay, today is Day 1 and it’s the afternoon which is good because I’m feeling good but I know as it becomes evening and night the urge to pull is stronger. I’m wishing myself luck and deciding I’m going to make some changes damn it! No matter how long or difficult that may be!!