Feel so sad about tricho

Hi to everyone, first of all sorry for my English if its not very well its because I'm not from the USA.

I'm 25 years old and pulling hair for 12 years.
About only 2 years agi I found out that I have trichotullomania, it is not the no one noticed.
I noticed and my mom did.
But here we don't have the awareness for that issue.

Once I took a shower, about 14 years old and after a long time I didn't I saw many man blades on my scalp I was soooo panic - more then the trying to keep it a secret so I called my mom - shout to her, she came running to the bathroom asking me what was going on?
Then I cried and tell hair all my hair is with withe spots!!!
She told my immediately thats because you pulling hair! And i saw you! And I told you not to do so!!
Everything you wanna pull just think about me.

And I did think about my mother because she is the most important person for me.
And I'm still thinking about her but it is not helping me. All those years I continue pulling over and over again (maybeeee for couple of months here and there..)

Guys, please, plzzz tell me my hair will grow up.
I'm pulling 13 14 years and just want my hair back.
I had amaziiinggg fuuull beautiful hair (that one of the reson I started pulling was because some kids in high school told me my hair is ugly- and he didn't! The lovers ones called me Horse's tail, my hair was brown blond and very long and strong).
Now, I can see at my back 1 cm- 2 cm white spots , but ots all over my back so it looks sometimes a big withe spot under everting.

Upon my ear, I have tied up my hair.
And then pulling.
So, if I understand what happened its that I cut the hair in the middle, I really don't think I arrived to the roots because my hair there is too long ( half of my letgh (i. Ment the cm of my hair - half?) .
So because its long, maybe this from the middle continue growing as well?

Please help me, I started to see big spots after 13 ayers will it grow? I have no oneeee to tell and people here immediately think you're "crazy" so that is not an opportunity.
I can't swim, in the last time I don't want my bf to touch my hair and I think I strt feel I have less hair because he sae me playing with my hair sometimes without understanding and told me last time - what append to my beautiful hair?

I'm so so afraid that anyone will revel- if they do i really think my life are over dude.

What should I do?
I cry every night before I go to sleep and wake up with anxiety about me hair, and steressd.

Please tell me things will be ok

Thank you, so so much.
Sun111

Comments

  • Hi @sun111

    I hope I understand you correctly, you are saying that you have discovered some bald patches.

    If this is the case, permanent damage only starts to occur after something like 18 years I'm sure @Neo @Michelle Harper can tell you more.

    But the hair will always regrow as far as I am aware except for very extreme cases. It may come back a different texture or a bit thinner in some areas or white but it will come back if you allow it to grow.

    You can help hair growth by using a scalp massager such as this:
    https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Head-Scalp-Massager-Neck-Stress-Pain-Relief-Massage-Tool-Headache-Tension-Relax/393065709327?hash=item5b848abf0f:g:718AAOSwEY1d30K5

    Using oils in your will will help it grow and taking biotin vitamin supplements will be good for hair, skin and nails.

    Im really sorry to hear that you're so unhappy, it makes me really sad to hear anyone feels so alone. I also know that feeling but this is a perfect website to post on as you will get a lot of good advise. I hope you know you are not alone. We are all here too.

    My main advise would be to sign up for therapy with this website. You need to speak to someone who knows what is happening to you.

    If you tell them what country you are from perhaps they can find out if theres any help that you can reach out for where you are locally as well.

    Contact them via this link : https://www.coaching.care/trichotillomania/

    But keep posting here too, we all want to support you xxxxxxx

  • Thank you for your support, I really appreciate that !
    I'm new here on that site.. is it open for everyone?
    Bty @michelle page is not found 404 🤣

    I know I need someone, actually it is very dramatic moment in my life because its the first time I allow myself to talk, even realize that I have tricho.

    Once you see those bald patches there is no coming back.
    This understanding gives me 3 months of anxiety and only then I started to be strong enough to just open the internet and search for tricho under anonymous user.

    The point is that tricho, here, where I live no one will understand,
    Everyone are very judging, impulsive. We have "hot blood". I'm just kidding, but yes, the awareness for pulling hair nearly not exists so it is very difficult to try to explain situation for the society here.

    About people who are close to me, I don't want to disappoint them and it is already enough that its difficult for me..

    About my pulling, so yes, I'm pulling since I was 12 (now I'm 25).
    It is the second time in my life I saw bald patches like those but now its likely to be more extremely.

    Really? My hair will grow? I thought it will last forever like that😭
    It is so good to here it gives me passion to stop my pulling, I so want that.

  • Hi @Sun111 hope you are doing better. Did you manage to get in touch with the therapy team on here? <3

  • Hi @Sun111 how are you doing now? Did you get in touch with us through the website? If you haven't, please do. I have lots and lots of advice and support for you. You're not alone <3

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