Hey guys!! I'm back well I was never gone I always checked on the forum to see how everyone is doing but anyways
A lot of you followed and supported me through my 5 weeks of being scalp pull free on my other thread but let me get straight to it I relapsed afterwards. I remember I posted one time here how I had been having a hard week being trich free because I just kept getting triggered eventhough I had been trich free for weeks, the urge was strong but I fought back. But even after that week I kept finding myself wanting to pull and eventually I threw my hat into the washing machine and on that day everything went to hell heh. But before that day I did pull like 2 hairs a day and didn't think of it as relapse just as anomalies in my calendar "accidents" and I avoided updating here because I didn't want to lie about still being trich free but didn't want to face it either.
It's been 4 days since I relapsed and yesterday I didn't pull and today I pulled like 2 strands of hair. What's triggering me is the small wavy hairs at the front of my hairline it's not even the itch anymore because I had dealt with that trigger well. Today after I pulled those 2 hairs I stopped myself changed my attention and stood up to go downstairs, it worked and I didn't pull afterwards but I still feel shit about it I do believe that after you change your focus from the trigger once and stop yourself it gets easier. And also I'm focusing more on not letting my hand reach up there. I started wearing the hat again when I sleep but not during the day because I have better control and I want to face the problem and stop hiding away because apparently by wearing the hat all the time I was only delaying my need to pull and not weakening it.
With all that in mind the scalp scratcher worked really well for me and Im no longer urged to pull when it itches but this time a scalp massager can't help my situation and it's all about mentally being present and not making the first move of moving my hand up to my hair and about shifting my attention to what's infront of me.