New here - pls help me :(

Hi eveyone...

My name is Mina. I’ve been suffering since 2011. Im now 22 years old and have barely any hAir left on my head. I got married in 2019 to my partner of 8 years. Last year we moved in together and he persuaded me to let him help me. He has been so supportive. I wore a wig for years and have not since I think April. I went without pulling for I think around 3 weeks. I was doing so good but became week and said to myself ‘oh I’m just gona pull one hair it won’t do anything’ - it went down hill after that. I tried to hide it from my hubby because I get ashamed but he noticed the bald patch that emerged. He wasn’t happy. We then decided to fully shave my hair to a 0. It helped because it felt like a fresh start but when the hair started coming back so did the pulling. My husband now thinks I have stopped and is focusing on me regrowing my hair. I’m too ashamed to tel him that I’m still pulling because he will just get really upset and think I’m a failure. He won’t understand that I can’t just stop in a heart beat.

The pulling is worse at night during restless nights. Like tonight... it’s 2:34am whilst I’m writing this.

Oh I also had a baby last year she’s now 8months old and it scares me because sometimes I pull in front of her and I’m scared in case she pick this habit from watching me:(

I don’t know what to do I felt like I was so close to ending this pulling but I also feel so far from the end :(

Comments

  • Hang in there @mina67 🤗 You'll definitely find plenty of supporters here! Going totally Pull-Free is such a rollercoaster of a journey. It's gonna take some time. But you WILL get there! You've already had success once for 3 weeks. I think that's awesome! (My all-time record is only two weeks 😕)

    I've read somewhere on this forum that willpower is a muscle that you need to keep exercising to make it stronger. Don't give up. If you slip up, just start over again with a new day. Keep track of your successes and failures. Pretty soon your pull-free days are going to outnumber your pull days. It's such a slooooow process 🐢 but you'll get there. We all will!! 💪
    I'm living proof. I still pull. I still struggle every day. And some pull free stretches are easier than others. But slowly but surely my bald patches are disappearing. I'm not expecting perfection from myself, just progress. And when I do fall down, I TRY to keep the damage to a minimum.

    Being aware of your Trich is such a huge milestone already. The more aware you are, the more prepared you are to fight your urges. And to have a supportive husband is super helpful too! Our loved ones need to be educated in our compulsion though. Non-judgemental support is what is needed, along with patience and understanding when we relapse.

    And my last bit of advice for you dear, is cut yourself some slack 😉 My goodness! You just had a baby! So many hormonal & life changes are bound to cause some stress which always leads to pulling. Give yourself the credit you deserve. You're doing double duty now, a wife AND a mom! That's not easy! Especially for someone so young. Be proud of yourself and stand tall. Take one day and one problem at a time.

    Sending you all the Pull-Free vibes I can spare 🙏

    Take care and stay strong!

    SleepySloth ♥️
    (currently 7 days, 2 hours and 19 minutes pull free)
  • @sleepysloth thank you so much for your comment! I find that words of encouragement regularly really help me to stay pull free hence why I joined this forum. Thank you I know trich is all in our heads and if we can train our minds to resist the urges, then we can over come it! 🤍
  • Hi Mina,

    often people do find that shaving doesn't help in the long term. You've removed the hair but not tackled the condition, so as soon as it grows back you go back to pulling it again. That doesn't make you a failure. This is a journey and you learn along the way what works for you and what doesn't. You've learned that shaving your head only offers you temporary relief, and you've learned that there's no such thing as "just one hair". That's progress!

    You haven't done anything wrong by having a medical condition. Remember that. You don't pull your hair because you're a failure. You pull your hair because you have TRIC!

    I would suggest keeping a journal to keep track of your triggers for pulling. I would also start a reward system with small, achievable goals. To start with, it may be that you reward yourself for stopping pulling after 5 minutes. Then you could try setting a 15 minute timer when you get the urge to pull and going to clear out a cupboard or do the washing up. Increase it in small increments, but don't give up and don't lose hope.

    It's a process and it's a natural to focus on setbacks, but try to consciously acknowledge your successes, no matter how small they might seem. Retrain that brain <3

  • @michelleharper thank you for your comment. I really do appreciate it 🤍 I have started to jot down each day I’m pull free as well which I like
  • @mina67 how has this week been?

  • Is has been good I haven’t pulled since July 5th when I joined this forum!! :)
  • Aaaargh! That's GREAT!!

Sign In or Register to comment.