Hello :)

Hi, my names Kellie. I haven't been part of any forums before. I have been pulling my hair since I was probably 14 and I'm 24 nearly 25 now. I don't really remember how or why I started pulling my hair, I use to bite my nails a lot and I think I stopped biting my nails and started playing with my hair and eventually pulling it that's my theory but I can't say for definite. I have tried everything I can think of to stop from stress balls, figit toys, plasters on my fingers, sitting on my hands when I want to pull. Nothing seems to have worked so far and I just feel like it's getting worse not better. I haven't gone bold yet but I can say there are really bad areas somewhere on my head and I have a lot of random short bits everywhere. Was just wondering if anyone that's managed to stop has any tips help or anything they've done that's helped them? :)

Comments

  • Hi Kellie
    Nice to see you on here. I’m 25 and have been pulling my eyelashes since I was about 12ish. It started off with picking my mascara off and then progressed. I too don’t have bald eyes however I do fear it will head that way if I don’t stop.

    I too have tried ALL those things that you have tried. And sometimes they work for a few days and then I go back. Have you ever tried every time you get an urge to write it down? There’s an app called trichstop it’s easy to record and it helps you to notice your urges. Or even use a notebook. How about trying cutting your nails really short or I read once acrylic nails helped someone. It’s so hard :-(
    Sharing your story and your feelings is a good outlet too.

    We’re all in this together.

    Take care & hopefully hear from you soon.

    Katie. X
  • Hi Kellie, welcome to the forum. I’ve been in therapy for a little over a year. I’ve been an eyelash puller since I was 11, & I’m nearly 36. When I first started therapy I had virtually no lashes at all (I was wearing false lashes, & cutting them down to look more realistic.
    I am on day 41 today of being PF, and I can say, my urges have come down (first two weeks are always the hardest.) the longest period I’ve been PF for was when I started therapy last year, I got to the day 70 mark. For me, this time around, I’ve stopped focusing in the mirrors. If I do find myself just stood there, I gently just remind myself that I no longer do that. I also don’t put my hands anywhere near my eyes. If I get a twinge or and urge, I either rub my eye with the back of my hand or if it’s the urge, I apply coconut oil to the area with the back of a teaspoon. The other big thing for me, is if I’m sat watching tv, I started knitting (just to keep my hands busy) or I sit on the floor and cuddle the dog, or if it’s really bad (which it hasn’t been recently) but before, I would get up and move around to switch my mind to something else.
    It’s been trial and error, it’s just finding what works for you. I’ve found great support on here though, & have to say hearing what’s worked for others has helped as well, as I’ve given them a go to see if they work for me too.

    Hopefully you’ll enjoy chatting on here & remember you’re not alone!
    Take care, Lisa x
  • Hi Katie, thank you for your comment. I'm also worried that I will have bold patches on my head at some point, my hair is unbelievably thin anyway and pull it just makes everything worse. I will have a look at that app as I've heard that it helps to write stuff down about when you do it and what you were thinking or feeling at the time. I have started writing a diary but that's just day to day life rather than focusing on trich. I've tried fake nails, acrylics and cutting them short but I pull my hair from the roots as well as pull the ends and I can't still pull the ends without nails etc.
    It's nice to know there are people out there that have this same problem as everyone just says 'why don't you just stop?' well if I could I would.

    Hi Lisa, thank you for your comment too. It's great to hear your story and that you are now 41 days PF, well done, a huge achievement. I do hope to get there some day, I haven't even managed to go 1 days yet. I haven't been able to pin point what makes me do it or what triggers it as I feel I do it in every aspect of my life. I do it when I drive, when I watch TV, when I'm at work (desk job) when I'm out with friends and with my boyfriend, it's never ending. Your story has put some hope that I might be able to stop one day. I'm really hoping this forum can help and knowing there are other people out there I can talk to about this who have been through it and understand its a medical problem not just a silly habit you can stop.

    XoX
  • Hey Kellie,

    So many times, as a child, I’d hear “just stop” and it’s not that simple. Like you say, if we could we would. However, there is hope and I know there are people on here who have earnt their “trich stars” 🌟 (100 days PF!) That’s what I’m aiming for, but so that I don’t overwhelm myself, I simply just remind myself that, “I only need to be PF in this moment right now.”
    Another thing I forgot to mention that is helping to keep me on track, is I’m rewarding myself. I’ve been rubbish at this in the past. I’ve ordered a book that’s arriving this week for day 40 (yesterday) and a poster is also on the way for day 45 (it’s all about living in the present moment.)

    Try and remember, we do what we do because we have trich. I know so many times I used to try and find what caused me to pull. “Why did I do it this time?” or “what triggered me that time?” The answer is simply, I’m a trichotillomaniac and that is what I would do. I have a condition, but right now I’m taking back the power and the “trich monster” isn’t!!!😉

    Speak to you soon & take care.
    Lisa x
  • Hi Kellie

    One thing I have learnt from these forums is what Lisa always says ‘ I am pull free in this MOMENT’ and that is all we’ve got, this very moment right here. Take it minute by minute.
    These forums for me have been a god send because people who don’t have trich just don’t get it ! And how could they get it?!
    My sister is 27 and she pulls out her hair. I pull out my lashes ... I sometimes wonder if it’s genetic. Another thing I do is set the wallpaper on my phone to an image of a beautiful eye with long lashes and it gives me a bit of motivation to get my eyes looking that way!!

    I too do it in the car driving, at my desk at work, watching tv, even out for dinner sometimes!!! In bed. I too can’t find a reason but I guess what Lisa says is right.. instead of looking for a reason let’s just train our brains to see our hair differently.

    Speak soon
    Katie x
  • Hi guys, today I've not pulled so much again I'm not sure why I haven't pulled so much. I try tie my hair up every day, if it's down I cant help it and that's when it's worse. I think my plan is to try not think about my hair and wanting to pull it. I downloaded that app today so I'm going to start using it and hope that might help me too! Thank you so much for both of your support. I look forward to this journey and I hope I can conquer it once and for all.

    You have done it Lisa and even though I don't know you I am proud of you for stopping. I can imagine how hard it has been.

    Katie, we can and we will beat this thing :)

    Thank you x
  • Hey Kellie

    That’s great news! Whatever it takes eh. If you need to tie your hair up everyday until the urges subside then you do that. Hope the app helps! Let me know how you get on :smile:

    Let’s do this!!

    Katie x
  • Hi Kellie,

    Thank-you for saying that, it’s really kind. I actually found my hand go up to my eye this evening, BUT my brain switched and my hand came straight back down. I heard my voice within say “No Lisa, we don’t do that anymore.” I also got up and moved from where I was sat. Still fighting that monster, but it’s getting easier.

    Well done to you as well. As Katie said, if tying your hair up helps then that’s great. I believe in you,and am sure you WILL conquer this.❤️

    Take care. X
  • Hi Kellie and welcome :)

    I started pulling when I was 9 - I used to suck my thumb when I was younger and not long after I stopped that, I found pulling. I’ve often wondered if it was some kind of a comfort that I was looking for.
    But as the others have said, it doesn’t matter why it started in the first place, all that matters is this moment right NOW.

    Hope the app helps you, you may pick up on certain trigger times that you weren’t aware of, and being aware can make all the difference.
    There is lots of information and tips to be found on here, plus support from others who really understand :-)
    Neomie
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