Teens with BFRBs


  • Hi everyone,

    I started pulling (lashes and brows mostly) when I was 11 or 12 and pull well into my adult life, but I am pull free for over a year now :)

    I'm posting here as an adult who was once a teen and I want to support teens with trich, because there are so many things I wish I could have told myself when I was a teen.

    What comes to mind initially is that you are not alone, and you CAN become pull free <3

    Anyone else want to share what they wish they had known when they were a teen with trich?

  • Great thread Annie. My goodness, so many things I wished I had known. Like Annie, I started pulling my lashes at an early age, and have been pulling for about 25 years. the longest PF period I've been was 75 days. I won't lie, I keep struggling and am in therapy. What I can say, is when I do pull, It's not as many as it used to be (I don't have complete bald patches) and seem to snap out of it a lot quicker.
    I wish I'd known I wasn't alone too (I felt so isolated.) Also knowing I wasn't going mad that this wasn't something I had caused and there were people out there that could help. The biggest one for me, was knowing there was a name and it wasn't just a random thing I was doing.

  • Any parents milling around can rest assured we are moderating this chat

  • Sensitive

    Hi everyone! One thing I wish I had known when I was a teen was that I was very sensitive and it's ok to be sensitive. In fact, it is a great strength and sensitive people bring a different perspective to the world and can be very aware, empathetic and compassionate (don't we sound like great friends?).

    When I was a teen, I had a big move when I was 14/15 years old. All I wanted was to fit in and make friends at this new school. Peer pressure or just going along with an activity I didn't really want to do was a thing I came across a lot. Sometimes I stood my ground and sometimes I did things that I realised weren't that interesting to me but I learned what I liked to do or not to do.

    However that left me feeling sometimes like I was very different from my friends and strange if I didn't want to do something a whole group of people I liked, were doing. What was wrong with me? Turns out nothing, we all have different levels of stress and stimulus we can handle. And I guarantee there are other peers of yours who feel the same way.
    Examples of my sensitivity:
    I hateeeeee scary films (I can't even watch trailers) so I would skip out but go to see happier films.
    I find clubs to be really really loud (I would bring earplugs or just not go).
    I get very anxious when reading news or watching news so I when my parents had it on tv I would leave the room.

    So I hope you can try to find a group of friends who are supportive of your choices and also do things you really enjoy doing. And I hope you get to learn about yourself and what you like and don't like, that's what tends to happen anyway as we grow up :)

    You're doing great and we are here to support you, thanks for reading!

  • I can totally relate to that, Annie. I found the cinema really loud and still hate it to this day! Lights in supermarkets are too glary for me and the noise of aircraft at our local air show drives me INSANE.

  • Whilst I don't like scary movies, I will sometimes watch the trailer and then wonder why I can't sleep at night, I still do it now.

    I also would leave the room, but mine was if my parents were watching a programme or film that I felt was too scary. However, I can remember sitting and watching a film with my Dad once, completely terrified and I pushed myself through it. My Dad would say, "Don't be silly, It's not scary." or "It's only ketchup." Oddly, that night, I slept with my light on and never tried to be "brave" on a film like that again. He meant well, but didn't really understand why it affected me so much.

    You're right as well Annie, we are incredibly sensitive, but I'm starting to love and accept myself, and I wouldn't change this trait for anything, as it makes me me. :)

  • I'm so glad it's not just me! I still can feel so out of place.

    When I was in my late 20's it seemed everyone was watching Game of Thrones and everyone around me was saying how much they loved it. I full on watched the first two or three seasons before realising it made me feel sick just watching it, I would have nightmares or replay scenes of torture I had seen and wished I could un-see, and that I could spend my time doing something that actually wasn't emotionally upsetting! But watch parties were really popular and it was in my social circle so I eventually was like why is this unnecessarily violent show not upsetting you all? And they seemed to just accept violence in media. Which then made me feel it wasn't I being sensitive, it was them being totally out of touch.

    So I think I'm trying to say, don't accept group think if something is bothering you :) and it is not worth the emotional trauma to stick out watching something just because of others.

    And this is totally uncool to say, but now I am kind of glad my parents were so strict on what I could watch growing up. Ha!

  • Here, here Annie. Completely agree with everything you've just said. :)

  • anniek
    edited June 2018


    Hi everyone, this is a huge topic and I have one thing I want to share. I switched schools when I was about 15 and got bullied until I was 18. I was desperate to fit in and had low self esteem. I was totally unprepared to handle bullying, it had never happened before and in those years there wasn't really any resources about it. Neo can help you with suggestions on how to handle bullies in the moment and after.

    What I wish I could have told myself though was just not to believe things people said that hurt my feelings. For some reason I believed what I heard, maybe it was because of my negative thoughts anyway, but I should not have listened to anything they said. So don't believe them.

    Also you get to graduate from school, move on and become an adult where you choose your friends and don't put up with drama. So hang in there, it gets a lot better!!!

  • Hello there, I am Elena. I have been pulling my hair and eyelashes(I stopped eyelash pulling about a year and three months ago, yay!) since I was 9 or 10, and I am 13 now. I wore a wig for a few years and last June finally managed to grow my hair out enough to have it in a short bob and now it is about shoulder length. I am trying to grow it out again, because when I was 9 or 10 it was down to my waist and even a little below. It was pretty heavy and hard to wash, but i still hope to get it back. I have been in therapy for a few years now and just wanted to say hi!

  • Hi Elena! That's amazing, you're doing great!

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